My Child's Five Year Old Logic...

Here's a story that I should write down in my journal:

Thursday we had a friend and her daughter over for an early birthday lunch for my 10yodd. The mom and I were sitting on the couch chatting while the kids were outside in the forts in the woods playing.
My 7yodd and 5yods came inside at one point, but DS hung back in the kitchen apparently crying. DD, heading in the direction of the bathroom, urged him to come follow her but he growled and said he wouldn't. I interrupted my friend and asked DD and DS if they were having a problem getting along.

DD said, "No, DS just cut his finger with the machete and I want to put a band-aid on it but he doesn't want to come through the house, because you'll see."

DS, having been ratted out, began crying more so.
I asked DS if the finger was bleeding, he said, "Yes, a little."

"Well then, you had better show me if we have blood."

"I didn't cut the whole thing off though!" he grumbled.

At that, my friend and I almost fell off the couch laughing, but we held it together.
It was a small cut on the middle finger and yes, there was some blood.

Beckoning my best "mother knows best tone" I asked, "Did you learn anything?? What on earth were you doing with the machete?"

"I was trying to open my candy. I first tried the axe but then DD said that machete would be sharper."

Our axe is about as dull as a butter knife so DD was indeed correct, but we had a difficult time not laughing this time. DS was very put off by our tears and shivers as we tried to control the laughing.
I couldn't think of anything more to say, besides to leave the axe and machete alone and go get the band aid.

Now, to add to this series of child logic, Hubby and I were discussing things today on the same couch mentioned above. (I have two days left to before delivering #5, so I spend a bit more time on the couch.)
DS flew into the house and asked me for some tape.

I asked, "What kind of tape?"

"I don't know. ANY tape, just some tape, NOW!"

"Well, what are you going to be taping?"

"I found my first iguana!! The kind that has this red throat that goes out and in and then the iguana changes colors!"

"What does that have to do with the tape?"

"Well, his tail fell off and I don't want him to die like the one at Aunt D's, so I want to tape his tail back on. He needs it."

I just can't get a break from wetting my pants laughing these days.
I gently told him he'd have to let the lizard go, and it wasn't an iguana. He needs to be out in the woods where God could heal him if he hasn't lost too much of his tail. Tape wouldn't be of any help. DS seemed to understand this much, but was just so upset at having to let it go and not know if it were going to die or not. He went back outside where we heard him crying the whole time he was trying to let it go.
My 10 yodd, with her big sister heart, came in and asked to borrow my camera so we could take photos of DS's lizard for him to remember him by. Of course I said, "Yes."

This'll hold me through my Monday ordeal...